Faith Over Fear/Triggered by Suicide
My daughter had her first experience with anxiety and panic attacks after she was Triggered by the Suicide of a dear friend. Suicide And Mental Health are topics that can be difficult for people to discuss. Unfortunately, my daughter learned firsthand how close the two could be related. She lost a good friend to suicide last year. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) found that 46% of people who commit suicide had a known mental health disorder which tells us how often these two worlds collide.
My daughter was in her early twenties when she received the horrible news about her good friend, who was found unresponsive, and to this day, no cause of death has been determined. She was very close to this family, which made it much harder, and I knew her friend well. My heart ached for them as we attended the funeral and paid our respects. The service was beautiful and sad, with my daughter holding up as expected. I was so happy that she had just moved back home since it would be easier to keep a close eye on her. I had no idea how dark the days would get at the time.
Triggered By Fear
My daughter, who is our eldest child, has always been highly social. We have often joked that she only went to school to find more friends. Since she’s always had a bunch of friends of every gender and nationality, she’s a social butterfly and the life of every party. But unfortunately, a couple of weeks after the funeral, there was no sign of that vibrant girl. Instead, she became a paranoid, frightened version of herself I’d never seen before.
She has never been scared of anything (except speaking in public.) Growing up, she has always been fiercely independent and fearless. At times, this has caused a few mother-daughter battles, but overall we’ve always had a close relationship. She’s always been bold, creative, and carefree with the spirit of an extrovert. She’s never cared about what anyone thinks, and that’s something that I’ve always admired about her. Being free from people and their opinions took longer for me to achieve. So, I was happy that it came naturally to her.
Death Over Anxiety
Shortly after her friend passed away, my daughter began calling me at work all the time to see when I’d be home. It didn’t matter if she was home alone or not. At first, I didn’t think much about it. After all, life had taken a tragic turn, so I shrugged it off. However, I began to worry when she began having trouble sleeping because she was scared she wouldn’t wake up. Then came the anxiety and panic attacks, which crippled her to the point where she was scared to leave the house. Once, she was on her way to work and began having heart palpitations. They started to get worse and became so severe she thought she would have a heart attack. Once she got home, she called an ambulance to take her to the hospital.
That was the first anxiety attack she’d experienced, but it wouldn’t be the last. Over the next few weeks, she dealt with panic and anxiety attacks. As a result, she often stayed curled in a ball for most of the day. There would be good and bad days, and trying to resume a somewhat routine would prove to be more challenging than any of us thought. Some days I’d come home from work, and she would talk and laugh like normal. Or not at home, indicating she had resumed her routine for the day.
Death Over Fear
Other times, my sister would be at the house praying with or over her. So, we started a weekly bible study. We encouraged my daughter to meditate on scriptures and journal everything she felt, good or bad. It’s crucial to get your feelings out. Keeping everything inside gives the devil ammunition to use. I knew my struggle with those disorders and didn’t want her to spend any more time in that dark place.
When you’re at a low point in life, it can be hard to pray, read scriptures, or do things that can help, even when you know what you should be doing. The enemy attacks us when we are vulnerable and feeling low. That’s why it’s essential to have people in your life who can intercede on your behalf. Until you have the strength to do it for yourself, if not, the devil will try to keep you in the dark place. He knows that if the light shines into that darkness, it will overtake it.
Triggered By Life
So, when I got an eerie feeling in my stomach that Sunday morning. It led me to call my daughter and check on her. I heard a wailing on the other end that made my stomach turn. I held my breath as she told me about the suicide of her dear friend. Another family was dealing with a tragic death. My daughter was distraught and heartbroken, recalling the details she’d just heard. We were in shock, so I did what I knew. I got on my knees and asked God to help everyone who was or would be affected by his death.
That week we paid close attention to any signs of distress. Grief can overtake your life in the worst way, and we wanted to be strong in prayer just in case this death triggered a similar response. However, we knew how much stronger her faith was compared to five years ago. She saw firsthand how God showed up for her and gently guided her back to the light. Nobody goes through this life without going through something. It’s how you handle it that sets you apart from unbelievers.
John 16:33
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart because I have overcome the world.
New Living Translation
Triggered By Strength
So, while we were concerned about her dealing with the grief and stress that comes from losing a dear friend. We trusted that her relationship with her Heavenly Father would be enough to help guide her through another dark for in the road. With God’s grace, my daughter got through that tough time. She’s refused to allow the enemy to hold her hostage in that dark place again. I’m proud of my baby girl. She’s had to deal with some harsh blows that could have easily changed how she views things in life.
Instead, she remains positive and focused on discussing mental health and suicide. Life has left its mark, though. She knows the challenge of navigating life while dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, but she refuses to let that define her!
Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-8255
Suicide is an unfortunate permanent solution to a feeling or problem that may not be. If you or someone you know or care about has mentioned anything about giving up on life, please let them know you care. Offer a kind word or listening ear. You never know if it may help.
