Night Terrors
Night terrors attempted to destroy my son’s life. He was about eight years old when he started having bad nightmares. After some research, we found out they were night terrors. Suddenly, a disorder we had never heard of changed our lives forever.
He would be jolted awake, limbs flailing, frightened, and upset. Other times he would sit in bed with a blank look on his face, sweaty with his heart pounding in his chest. He wouldn’t speak or respond even though his eyes were open when he was in that state. The episodes didn’t last long, and thank God they weren’t daily, but it was terrifying to see.
What are Night Terrors?
According to WebMD, Night terrors run in families and usually don’t have a specific cause. They affect about 1 to 6 in 100 children between the ages of 3 to 12. They can be triggered by:
- Sleep deprivation
- Stress
- Depression or anxiety
- Fever
- Too much caffeine
- Sleeping in a different place or away from home
- Lack of sleep
- Sleep problems like sleep apnea
Night Terrors Go Away
Sleep deprivation was often an issue because he liked staying up way past bedtime. We began to pay close attention to his bedtime routine and overall day and mood. Bath times became longer, with more bubbles to help him relax. Prayers at night were more specific now, along with extra cuddles and kisses. Late-night eating and scary movies or shows were out of the question. We were following a strict bedtime routine which we hoped would help. Unfortunately, while we were dealing with the night terrors, his behavior in school became disruptive.
According to John Hopkins, some common characteristics of night terrors are:
- Sudden awakening from sleep
- Persistent fear or terror that occurs at night
- Screaming
- Sweating
- Confusion
- Rapid heart rate
- No recall of bad dreams or nightmares
- Unable to fully wake up
- Difficult to comfort
The Darkness Of Night Terrors
My son displayed many characteristics of a child with night terrors and told us, “The devil was trying to get him in his sleep.” The following day he never remembered the episodes. He would be his usual, carefree, funny, loving self, and for this, we were grateful. Life changes forever when your child, who you’d do anything for, is going through such torment.
Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
New Living Translation
Nobody Invited The Darkness
As I stated before, he started having behavior problems in school. He would throw himself on the floor and refuse to get up or throw things in the classroom. His teacher would have to decide if she would engage him and his disruptive behavior or ignore him and continue to teach the rest of the class. She’d try and use a soothing tone to try and calm him down. If that didn’t work, she would get the security guard or administration to talk to him or help remove him.
My husband and I started getting calls regularly to tell us our son was having a “rough day.” We would talk to him over the phone to see if hearing one of our voices would get his behavior back on track. If that didn’t work, one of us would have to pick him up. Unfortunately, his teacher spent a lot of valuable teaching time trying to get him to comply with her requests instead of teaching the class.
A Dim Light In Darkness
At home, he was the same sweet child he always was. It was difficult for him to articulate why he was acting up in school. We prayed every morning that the school wouldn’t need to call and that he’d have a good day. Unfortunately, his behavior resulted in a couple of suspensions. The school couldn’t just look the other way with all the disruptions.
I did everything I could to keep the anxiety from returning, not truly realizing that without God, I was powerless. However, that changed when I ran into my friend that was home from college. The glow that she had was undeniable. After finding out she had been attending church. I knew in my spirit that’s where I needed to be.
Darkness Can’t Outshine The Light
Church, for me, was life-changing. When I was younger, my family attended church, but this was different. I never had a personal relationship with God, and I was desperate to get help and free my son from the darkness trying to destroy him. Sometimes God allows us to become desperate, so we’ll cry out for his help. He wants to show us his power that we may have missed otherwise.
They were happy to pray for us at church, and my son started counseling sessions with our pastor. But, of course, no church is perfect since it consists of imperfect people. We were learning and growing in our relationship with God, which was most important. It was a difficult season, but I refused to give up or give in. There was no way I would allow the enemy to destroy his life.
Early Years
I begin to question myself as a mother and my husband as a father. We started thinking back over the details of his young life. He was hard to soothe as a baby, but his toddler years were uneventful. Headstrong and put into the time-out corner at times, but nothing to the extent that later occurred.
He has always been one of the youngest kids in his class and should have repeated kindergarten based on age. Instead, he tested so well that we agreed he should enter first grade. I wonder if making him repeat kindergarten would have helped, or would he have been bored learning the same thing for another year?
Speak Light In Darkness
The school insisted on a psychiatric evaluation because his behavior was so erratic. They didn’t want to be liable if my son did something to himself or someone else. He was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), which we already knew even if we didn’t have an official diagnosis. He was also diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder.) My sister, a social worker, informed us that these were the most common diagnosis.
Our insurance helped us find a therapist who he started seeing weekly. He had been seeing him for about a month when he suggested we take him to a psychiatrist. He wanted to see if Adderall would help him with his behavior issues.
All about Adderall
According to WebMD.com: Adderall is used to treat ADHD and belongs to a class of drugs known as a stimulant. It can help increase your ability to pay attention, stay focused on an activity, and control behavior problem. However, this medication has serious side effects, including blood flow problems in the fingers and toes: high blood pressure, mood swings, depression, and thoughts of suicide.
Light Will Prevail Over Darkness
After some prayer and discussion, we decided to give Adderall a try. We were concerned, of course, about the possible side effects. Especially since one of them was insomnia, and he was still having difficulty sleeping from the night terrors. We decided to try Adderall short-term to see if it would be effective. However, the therapist warned us that a medical professional would need to wean him off Adderall. Since it’s not a medication, you can stop cold turkey.
Adderall causes a change in the brain’s chemical makeup and creates a dependence over time. So a slow taper is the preferred and safer way to stop. It’s a very effective medication because it only takes 30 minutes to work and starts to work on the first day. It lasts about four to six hours, which coincides perfectly with the school day.
Bring On The Light
We didn’t like how the medicine affected him and quickly noticed that he wasn’t acting like himself. He was like a zombie showing very little emotion to anything, instead of being the high-energy, happy little boy who loved basketball, baseball, and playing with his brother and sister.
Instead, he was low energy, monotone, and showed very little interest in anything. So while we were delighted that his behavior drastically improved, the night terrors continued. It was a constant battle trying to do what was best for him, take care of my other two kids, and be a wife and an employee. It was very overwhelming. My relationship with God was the only thing guiding me through and keeping the anxiety and panic attacks from totally taking over my life. The therapist and I didn’t agree on some things. My son connected with him, though, so I just made sure I was at every session so that we could talk afterward.
Dangers Of Adderall
The therapist would tell us about teenagers selling their Adderall or mixing it with alcohol and warned us to be careful once our son entered his teenage years. I thought it was presumptuous of him to believe that he’d still need to take medicine since he was only eight years old. Meanwhile, the psychiatrist who prescribed the Adderall thought there was a good chance he could outgrow the night terrors and behavior problems and stop the medicine.
Hence, it annoyed me that the therapist he saw weekly wasn’t optimistic. He wasn’t supportive whenever we talked with him about maybe stopping Adderall. He thought this was the best option, even though he could also see the ill effects on him. I constantly prayed regarding the therapist and the medication because I wasn’t happy with either.
Highs and Lows Of Adderall
We were glad he could finally get through a school day without a significant incident and decided to keep on the Adderall. About a month into his being on the medicine, we found out he hadn’t taken it in the last week or more. He was given a tablet every morning after breakfast. We discovered he had been hiding it under his tongue and spitting it out. He said, “The medicine made him feel like he wasn’t in control of his own body and left him unable to move or speak at times.”
We felt like horrible parents because we had convinced ourselves and our son that this was best. At the same time, we were happy and blessed that he hadn’t been on the medicine long enough to experience any side effects since he stopped so abruptly. Unfortunately, the disruptive behavior started again, resulting in his expulsion. We had to attend a mandatory summer meeting to determine the elementary school he would attend that fall.
Words Matter
The district agreed to expunge his record if there were no more suspensions or expulsions. His principal wished us the best and said her hands were tied. She rattled on, talking about his behavior. Her words were cold and harsh when she spoke about my son attending a high school for troubled boys. I was offended and felt like that last part should have been left out. I wondered why she would talk about high school based on what was happening in elementary school.
God Had A Plan For The Darkness
I asked if her God had shared my son’s future with her. She wasn’t sure if it was a question that she should answer. It was quiet as she looked around the table. Finally, I told her, “You don’t know what God has planned for my son, and I refuse to believe he will have these issues in high school!” She tried to clarify her statement, but it was too late.
The assumption was that this little brown boy would continue being a problem everywhere he went. Words are powerful, and we must be careful what we say or allow others to speak over our lives and our children’s lives. I wasn’t about to let someone say anything other than positive, encouraging words over his life, especially in the middle of a crisis. They needed to be proven wrong, he was so much more than all the disorders he’d been dealing with, and I needed to make sure he knew that I prayed and asked God to use all of this bad for good.
Romans 8:28
We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
New Living Translation
A Long Journey
We started the next school year with regular meetings with his new teacher at a new school. She included daily correspondence to keep us updated. We talked every morning when I dropped him off. By this time, I had quit my job to focus on my kids. He was still in therapy and talking with our pastor if he needed to. His sleep was a little better. We noticed the night terrors diminishing, which made all of us happy. Things finally seemed to be going in the right direction. He graduated elementary school without any suspensions. Our prayers were finally manifesting.
Freedom From Darkness
We picked a small Christian school for middle and high school. Our daughter attended a large high school with multiple clubs, which was perfect for her. She was highly social and thrived in that environment; However, it wouldn’t be a good fit for our son. Picking that school was one of the best decisions we could have made for his future. He wanted to attend a larger school with a stellar basketball team because he was a talented player, and a larger school would mean more exposure and prepare him to play at the college level.
Bring On The Light
We needed to ensure he would do well mentally; that was more important. We saw his maturity and growth as the school year went on. He was busy with school and sports, which helped him stay focused. We liked that if we needed to call the school, they knew my son by his first name without giving a room number or a teacher’s name. His school community was close-knit, and he made lifelong friends that he still has today.
God Is Good
I have kept all the paperwork from this challenging journey to reflect on what God brought us through. I sometimes take it out, read through it, and thank God things turned out as they did. God protected his mind, and he doesn’t remember having night terrors or the behavioral challenges he faced.
As a result, his future has been better than what his former principal, therapist, and many others thought was possible. He played basketball during his four years in college and graduated on time. Today, he’s living life to the fullest, healthy, happy, and whole. I pray you to have the same results and trust God even during your darkest days.